Home » Monica's Thoughts..... On her Journey » The struggle within EXPANDS…..”She’s more religious, than most women”.

The struggle within EXPANDS…..”She’s more religious, than most women”.


What to Blog? What to blog? I was mulling over writing an article about the wonderful feeling of going to the bathroom after a long long long wait and successfully making it. I actually had  this experience today…..But, as I began to write and scrutinize connections between this feeling and dehydration…I realized…. WHACKNESS. Mission ABORT.

Later, in the day… I reflected on a comment one of my friends made. We were having a conversation about me crushing on some guy….I must have made some reference to God and how I couldn’t keep throwing myself at him. He turns to his girlfriend and says “She’s more religious, than most women”. Mind you, until three years ago I was an irregular church attending woman; and to this day, I have problems with conformity. So to think of myself as in the “more religious” crew, is a new idea. Not sure, how I feel about it. Happy about the spiritual growth with Christ, definitely. Undoubtedly happy with the growth I have experienced as a woman, hadn’t thought of my religion as growing.

I have loved Christ since I was a girl but, didn’t attend church regularly until I was a young adult. So, I sorta review religion as church politics. Not such a fan. However, I now love MY church. So, I have learned a great deal more about church politics. My love for Christ is separate of my church politics.

But, really am I more religious than most women? That’s a scary thought. I guess it depends on who you know. It must vary some by region as well. I know somewhere in America there are Americans saving themselves for marriage and they are probably surrounded by other people doing the same thing, they are probably more religious than I am. I also know everyone isn’t just throwing themselves at the next person they find attractive in order to merely gain a liking and perhaps many of them aren’t very religious…. But, then again you just never know. Nothing is ever as it seems, even with me…..

The self perception often doesn’t match the perceptions others have of you. So, now the struggle of understanding oneself deepens as you also try to see the perceptions others have of you….But, why? (A whole different blog, LOL).

But, the spooky thing is…to some I am “that more religious” person and perhaps I need to step it up. Yet, thank God for the increase, cause I am better than I was, with room yet to grow. I only care what others think, because I want to uplift folk and if I am coming across other than uplifting, I want to work on that….. Other than that we should realize that only God can truly do the judging cause other folk are going to talk about you, and that is a FACT (especially in the south, I think).

So as for me, I just keep trucking and reveling in the blessings God has bestowed upon me; like being free to be ME and LOVING it. Yet, still dredging through the everyday muck and mire of life for working class folks. I am not at all resentful of that because most of my problems are caused by lack of money. People who have money, seem to have problems not related to money; and, those in my opinion are often worse than not having enough cash flow.


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